Having a rough day/week/month?

Training not going as planned? Life not going as planned?  Welcome to the club! I have been having a very interesting year. I was training consistently and strong towards LaLa Marathon at the beginning of this year when Boom! My left foot got a stress fracture. It took longer that I planned to heal (by the way, thank you so much to Dr. McJunkin at Arizona Pain Specialists for getting back on my feet! He seriously is the best). And I got a reminder of life’s great lessons: you can’t plan what happens to you. You can’t really plan your life and have it going as you expect. You can line it up and hoping for it to go as you wish but you are not really in control… flash forward a couple of months and I was back training in the fall. Probably pushing a little too hard a little too soon. One day during a run I felt a little pain in my right tight (I have learned to differentiate pain from discomfort. Discomfort is great for you since once you go past it miracles happen. Pain is never good, if you keep pushing injuries happen. Discomfort goes away once you stop exercising, pain doesn’t go away). My Sartorius muscle flared up and didn’t want to calm down for several weeks. To say I was a little frustrated is an understatement but I have learned that you can’t control what happens to you but you can always control and choose the attitude you have. You are always in control of how you react.

I would lie if I don’t say I kept a positive attitude MOST of the time. I was trying to be optimistic and to find the lesson hidden in all this stuff (I will tell you at the end of his post what I realized). However I did get frustrated, sad, angry and everything else from time o time. Seriously? Injured most of the year? What about my plans?

Sometimes life just gets to be a little too much and it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Whether it be expectations from colleagues, coach or boss, friends, family or other half–or even the sky-high expectations you have of yourself–occasionally, it all comes to a head and you are left feeling like you are not good enough or second guessing whether this is what you should be doing. In times like these, it can be difficult to gain the perspective you so sorely need to pull yourself out of that terrible slump. Here are some of the things that helped me to gain perspective and to get me back on track:

1. This too shall pass.

As cliché as it sounds, no matter how terrible you feel right now and how desperate your situation may currently seem, it’s just a fleeting moment in your life. While it may seem as though your world is ending, trust in the fact that the sun will rise again tomorrow and shine new, hopeful light on you and your predicament.

I was running one day and my muscle was hurting a lot. I started getting in a bad modd about it when I remembered Amy Van Dyken. She is a former Olympian (6 gold medals) and recently had an ATV accident that left her paralyzed from the waist down. I thought she would probably give anything to feel the pain I was experiencing at that moment (she has no feeling in her legs) and it put my “misery” in perspective. My muscle pain was going to stop at some point. Yes, that might mean taking time off, but at least, someday, I was going to be able to run again. With that perspective a day, a week or even a month off is not that bad. I shall pass.

2. No one can do better than you…

…because there is not a single person out there who is like you! You are blessed with unique attributes that make comparing yourself to anyone else not only futile and discouraging but also, quite frankly, impossible. No one has lived the life you’ve lived, so no one is better equipped to tackle your challenges than you. Remember this whenever you catch your subconscious trying to convince you that you are not as worthy as someone else!

3. This challenge will only make you stronger.

Even though you may feel broken and bruised now, you will recover from this ordeal a more resilient person. When we get injured, the scar tissue that develops to mend our damaged skin is stronger than you could ever imagine. It’s the same for your heart and soul: trust in their ability to heal, too. In keeping with this…

4. Celebrate your “failures”; they are a lesson.

As Oprah Winfrey says, “Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another step to greatness.” When terrible things happen (either of our own doing or otherwise), it can be difficult to see the forest for the trees. However, in every failure or negative moment, there is a lesson to be learned. Take heart, and have faith in the fact that thanks to this experience, you will be better equipped to deal with whatever life throws at you next.

In London 2012 Michael Phelps swam his first event and didn’t get a medal for the first time since Sydney 2000. The second event he swam he “only” got a bronze. This could be discouraging to an athlete of his level but what he did is he sat with his coach and watch over and over again the tapes of those events to figure out what he did and how he could improve it. He also thought about what he ate, his mental state previous to those races, etc. What happened was that instead of feeling sorry for himself, he looked at those events as opportunities for improvement, which lead him to achieve 6 golds in the events he swam afterwards. Look for the opportunities to improve in what other people like to call “failures”.

5. You’re good enough to try, and that’s all you need to do.

Now that you know that failures should be celebrated and not feared, the time has come to realize that everything you’ve accomplished up until now and everything you’ll achieve henceforth comes from you taking a leap of faith and trying. No matter how convinced you are that it is impossible or that you could fail, make the attempt: it’s the most important part of any endeavour and the only one that is really asked of you. Believe in yourself and take a leap of faith!

6. Progress trumps perfection, every time.

It is so easy to get caught up in others’ expectations that we forget that perfection is an unrealistic (and frankly, boring) ideal. By shooting for perfection, you are setting yourself up for feeling like crap when you inevitably fall short. Progress, on the other hand, is a better measure of how brilliant you are and how much you’ve grown. Celebrate every small step forward.

7. You are not alone.

Although insecurity tends to confine us to a very lonely place, know that there are people around you who are desperate to show you how amazing you are and how much you matter. Even if you can’t see your own worth right now, they most certainly can; and while you may feel like you’re burdening them by expressing your feelings, I can assure you they don’t see it that way. Remember that even when you don’t feel good enough, your friends and relatives think you’re the bee’s knees. Don’t be afraid to reach out.

8. Everyone is fighting a hard battle.

While your problem is deeply personal and unique to your situation, take comfort in the fact that there are others who are also feeling less than great; not, of course, so that you can take pleasure from their pain, but because this means you are not alone in your plight. No matter how desperate you may feel, there is someone out there who will be able to relate and bring solace. All you need to do is find them.

9. There is so much to be thankful for.

When I’m down, one thing I like to do is list three things that I am grateful for, right in the moment. It is a great exercise for gaining a little perspective: even though it may feel like the world is crashing down around me, being able to make a gratitude list reminds me that there is a silver lining. Give it a try–you’ll be surprised at the results!

10. You aredeserving of love.

You may feel terrible about yourself now, but I can guarantee that there is so much beauty in you. In times when you don’t feel good enough, try making a gratitude list…for yourself! Name three things that you love about yourself. Be as silly or as ceremonious as you like. If you’re having trouble with coming up with something, be grateful for your lungs, which allow you to breathe; your mouth, which allows you to smile; your soul, which makes you you. You are a thing of wonder; believe it!

11. Your mind can be your enemy from time o time; don’t always take it at its word.

We are often our very worst critics. Even if we are kind to others, it can be hard for us to be nice to ourselves. We tend to judge ourselves extremely harshly, whether we’re aware of it or not, simply because we’re conditioned by society to believe we need to look or behave a certain way. When we don’t conform to these impossible standards, it’s easy to slip into negative self-talk. Be aware of this and don’t believe everything you think.

12. You have a choice.

Now that you know your subconscious isn’t always your best friend, it’s time to understand that you have a choice. You can either choose to let that nagging voice of discord run its mouth, or you can choose to fake it until you make it and replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. All it takes is the resolve to wear those rose-tinted glasses (no matter how cheesy it may feel at first) and practice! Commit to it, and I promise you’ll feel a change.

13. Yourapproval is the only one that matters.

We spend our lives bending over backwards trying to please others, trying to conform to others’ ideals and losing sight of what really matters: our happiness; our fulfillment. At the end of the day, people come and go but you’re stuck with yourself for the rest of your life. Do yourself a favor and focus on how you feel about yourself before worrying about the others. I’ll bet that once you strip away others’ expectations, you’ll like what you see.

14. You have overcome so much already.

You may feel terrible now, but remember how much you’ve already achieved. Think about the path that has led you to where you are now. Reminisce about your life from an objective perspective and see how much you’ve accomplished and overcome. Even though it may not seem like it now, you are a warrior and you are capable of so much.

15. You are still giving it your all.

Even when life knocks you down, you’ll still be there fighting. The fact that you feel the way you do right now is an indication that you still care and you still want to succeed. You haven’t given up and that means so much more than you realize.

As I tell my daughter: Just keep trying, try one more time, you never know when things will turn your way. It took Thomas Alba Edison more than a 3000 attempts to create the electric bulb. Anyone probably would have stopped before trying a thousand times! When someone told him “oh, I see you have failed x number of times in your attempt to create light” his answer was “you are wrong, I am x number of times closer to get it”. Keep trying, have a huge belief that it will happen and keep a positive attitude. You will see results when they are meant to happen.

16. There is always a way to get unstuck.

No matter how desperate the situation, there’s always something you can do to move forward. You may not see it right in the moment, but you will uncover it eventually, either on your own or with the help of your friends. In that “aha” moment, you’ll come to realize how close you were to the solution all along. Hindsight is always 20/20, isn’t it? Don’t lose hope; the answer you’re seeking is out there.

What helped me to get “unstuck” was focusing on something else (generally focusing outwards –helping other people- is always the best way to feel better immediately). I found an answer to my future training (staying healthy) and a way to avoid keep getting frustrated during my forced time off by focusing on my first love (no, not Kevin or Kori, Swimming!). I started swimming again as a way to keep my fitness. Then I realized my stroke (technique) had suffered from all the years I had taken off of it. Kevin started helping me (How lucky am I? Best coach in the USA you can find and he lives with me! Did I say his team –SAC- just won Jr Nationals on the girls side and placed 3^rd combined?), I started working on my technique, focusing on how to place my hand and elbow in the water, my turns, etc and every day I had a new challenge to tackle in the pool. I also set a new goal outside of running and swimming, I wanted to see how many classes in a row I could do of Bikram Yoga and how my body would feel about it (LOVE Bikram Yoga North Scottsdale! If you haven’t been there, you should definitely try it). Next thing I knew I was training again (swimming!) and my leg was healed (Again, thanks Dr. McJunkin for suggesting PRP to accelerate the healing!). Off to run again but now with a new perspective and a new goal: Keep going to BYNS at least 3 times per week for body and mind strength (you gain a lot of focus when you practice hot yoga). Keep swimming 4 times per week as cross training and with the goal of swimming my fastest 200 free ever in the spring; and I am sure that by incorporating this on my running program my body will stay healthy as I have a new perspective about training (less pounding, more quality miles, more cross training and recovery). See? There is always something good coming from what we perceive as a bad thing happening to us. We just have to be open to see it!

17. You are in no hurry.

Just because everybody else is running ragged doesn’t mean that you need to hold yourself to the same, crazy standards. The biggest goals and achievements in life take time to accomplish. Don’t pressure yourself into getting everything done on the quick and get down on yourself when you don’t quite manage it. It’s okay to take a little longer and savor the process.

I learned a huge lesson from my 9 year old daughter. She started Tae Kwon Do lessons when she was 4 and a half. She told me back then she wanted to be a black belt. She saw some other people in the studio getting their black belt in the years after, and she never asked me “When am I getting mine? When is it going to happen? How come he is getting it and not me?”. It took her half of her life (literally) until she was able to meet all the qualifications (and go through all the belts, forms, sparring and tournaments) to get her black belt. She never doubted she would get it. She never tried to rush into it. She just kept putting her best effort day in and day out until it happened. Her goal was to get to the top, not “to get to the top by this day or else”.

18. It’s okay to not be okay.

Sometimes, you need to surrender to your feelings and allow yourself to not be Super(wo)man for once. The world will carry on turning without you holding it together. Give yourself permission to give in to your emotions and know that it’s okay to give yourself a break. You’ve worked so hard–you deserve it.

No matter how dark the clouds above your head, there are better days right around the corner. Believe in yourself, give yourself a break and you will get there.

I hope your week go as planned and, if it doesn’t I am sure you will find a way to turn it around J
Thanks for reading! Remember you can follow this blog to get all the posts directly to your email and remember to follow me on twitter (@terezacher) for daily mental tune ups.

Until the next one!